Day 1 - It isn't actually Day 1

Well, it's not exactly Day 1 anymore. Day 1 was about three months ago. I would just like to note that I would have started this blog three years ago in preparation for the doomsday I was not yet aware of (if I had been aware of it). As it is, I wasn't, but damn, if I knew, I would have taken all precautions to relieve myself of this nightmare. But today is Day 1 of this blog...

To explain: I have an interesting roommate. I would prefer not to disclose gender. They're a nice roommate, to be sure, but their lifestyle varies quite greatly from mine and has created a (one-sided) rift in our roommate relationship. I don't feel any true ill will towards my roommate. Well, maybe. Just kidding. But seriously. But the title is self-explanatory. In any case, I don't doubt the number of idiots using the web and I'm willing to bet my roommate's Smallville poster that a lot of people will think I'm cruel and not very open-minded. To say the least, I'm just looking for a sense of personal space and this blog isn't a serious hate blog... I can respect people. But this is also assuming that somebody will look at this blog. Which they probably won't. I'm sensitive ok? Oh, yeah, I go to a University somewhere and I share this dorm with my two roommates. This isn't the case of me complaining about a former friendship gone awry.

Since today isn't the real Day 1 of anything (except for this blog, which doesn't really matter), I will have to recount all of the interesting things that have happened with my roommate and I up until today (Day 1 of nothing).

Recurring themes: loud, nasally, unfortunately high-pitch and out of key singing.

Unexplained bouts of attempted conversion (to mormonism).

Going to bed at an unreasonable hour (9 pm - 10:30 pm). One time my roommate went to bed at midnight and it was a big deal. They also get up two hours before classes start. I often get woken up to the sound of smacking lips and wet cereal.

Inability to clean up said cereal (off of the floor).

Day 0 (Yesterday):

My roommate goes to pop a bag of popcorn and I'm sitting at my computer playing Fishville. S/he puts the popcorn bag in and sets the timer. After about 30 seconds s/he turns to me and goes "The popcorn isn't popping!" I ask my roommate "How long did you put it in for?" And s/he says, "Two minutes. It's been 30 seconds." I go, "I think it usually pops towards the end..." and s/he gives me a disbelieving look. So I say, "I usually put it on for 3 minutes." and then my roommate comments "It says that the microwave is on 'high'. I don't know what high means! I don't want to make it spark."

To be honest, when I read this it sounds like I'm complaining about something minimal. But in the words of a friend in regard to this situation: I had the same problem your roommate was having... When I was in 4th grade.

My roommate is mormon. Not amish. This shouldn't be an issue. Unless somehow microwaves aren't allowed in the mormon religion. Will somebody tell me? Is this the case? If it is, should I remove the microwave from the vicinity?

I just remembered the time my roommate asked me if christmas lights across the wall of a room would cause a fire. I don't know. Can cement/plaster/whatever this shitty dorm is made out of catch on fire for absolutely no reason?